It was Springsteen who said , “57 channels and nothin’ on.” The Gut hears now in the States it’s more like a thousand. These days the same thinking goes for most things. Walk into a major suburban shopping complex. A hundred shops and nothing to buy. Nothing original anyway. Nothing so original you can’t find it in a shopping complex somewhere else in the world. Lost to the world is the specialists; the great artisans making the quality product. All because of the bastard child Democracy has spurned: Consumerism!
Though maybe not quite lost yet as the Gut found out in main square Macau. Because there bustling with the golden you-know-whats and the anchor lady of Captain Ahab’s first buddy is legendary Big Cow showing off a bit of hind leg to the bus loads of bulls from China whose groins are bulging with the million patacas they’re about to unload into a casino slot machine. Ah! Try telling these dudes that Communism sucks!
But enough with politics. Let’s talk religion! The Big Sacred Cow basically gives you the choice of two dishes. Yellow custard (made with egg yolk) and white (that’s right! Without). Inside there are also two places you can get a table: Upstairs or downstairs. But you don’t get a choice because business is booming. The Gut got upstairs. Although having not sat downstairs, the Gut reckons upstairs is the way to go. Especially if, like the Gut, you get to sit beside the dumb waiter. Listening to the waitress scream down it - take it from the Gut, there ain’t nothing greater or more grating than hearing the shrilling thrills of those harsh Chinese syllables ricocheting off those steel walls! The Gut reckons the Chinese language was invented to be delivered, at full volume, by a woman… or a bloke with a real high voice.
The Gut loves the white. He’s a milk kind of guy. If you’re an egg kind of guy, go the yellow. And go cold over warm. If the Big Cow’s pumping out those custards, they don’t do cold. So if it is busy, here’s some free advice from the Gut: Take a book and just wait. It’ll go cold. To describe why cold’s better than hot, unlike the Eskimos with snow, there ain’t enough words in the language. Probably was before consumerism. Just take the Gut’s word for it. He knows.